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Slack is a central concept representing a state of freedom, ease, or spiritual liberation that the Church of the SubGenius promises to provide.
Written by the Tronix Library
4 chapters across 1 book
PreambleThe 'Preamble' chapter of Revelation X: The 'Bob' Apocryphon introduces the Church of the SubGenius as a subversive, satirical religion centered on the pursuit of Slack, a state of spiritual liberation from societal norms and conformity. It presents a complex, literal revelation involving cosmic pain and pleasure, dark gods, and an impending apocalyptic event called X-Day, where believers will be saved by extraterrestrial beings. The chapter critiques mainstream religion, capitalism, and cultural conspiracy while emphasizing personal liberation, unpredictability, and the paradoxical nature of 'Bob' as both savior and enigmatic figure.
CHAPTER 1 THE TEN THOUSAND AND ONE ESSENCES OF wt BO B”' WHAT SECRET POWER DOES THIS MAN POSSESS? Was he a wizard? A servant of the Lord? A being from another planet? A devil worshipper? Or merely a shrewd salesman? CARL H. COMPUTER “Let he who hath wisdom know, itis the Wallet of a man.” — Economicon, 6:14 ““Bob” is the spiritual fractal. For he is made up of uncountable Dots, but each of these Dots in turn compriseth, yea, uncountable Dobbsheads, each of which in its turn is also composed of unending Dots; and so it goeth, from lasting unto everlasting. Or kill me.” — Magistra Batrix, 1990 “AND LO, THE SATIRE WAS MADE FLESH AND LIVES AMONG US.” — Hyperclessiansiastes 6:14:789:01-b THE SCIENTIFIC SHAMAN’ J.R, “BOB” DOBBS” The world of modern science seems an unlikely place to find Big Brother Au-GO-GO evidence supporting occult phenomena. Yet, many of today’s leading CHAOS KING FATHER OF THE NEW SOCIETY!!! scientists have scaled the pyramid of worldly knowledge only to find id this humble man “Bob” already slouching at the apex, twiddling his “For All You Know, He Might Already BE World Overlord!” thumbs. WHO JS THIS GUY WITH THE PIPE WHOSE FACE IS We will help you reach that capstone without expensive climbing gear. But — you’ll have to trust us — you’ll have to LET GO of that crumbling handhold that keeps you from plummeting to your death. LET GO and allow your very soul to be sucked out your eyes as they gaze upon this page. EMPTY YOURSELF. Let the invisible words work deeper... deeper... deeper into your very hind-brain to replace what was there previously. Down into the sludge sump of the brainpan, the septic oubliette of the nonconsciouslessness... And then, when you have plunged as far down into your own depths as you can possibly go, an IDEA... a KEY... a PLAN... an ULTIMATE SCHEME is born at the very ground floor of your MIND. And that scheme is... ““Bob.”’ | HINT for this chapter: There is an obvious place where his secret message to you is hidden. APPEARING EVERYWHERE? Who is this Mystic whose seemingly random countenance holds such SWAY over us all...? What is behind that smile that has sold and puzzled millions? Does he know something we don’t know? Is he about to tell us a secret? Is he, mayhap, INSANE? Or, has he just sold us a car? Even mathematicians, trained in visualizing the multi-dimensional quantum Universe, have trouble imagining “BOB.” For he is the True Absolute Infinite. “BOB” DOBBS ENcoMPASSES THE TOTAL VISION, THE ULTIMATE PROGRAM, THE FINAL ANSWER, THE INCONTROVERTIBLE CREED, AND THE ENDLESS EXCUSE. “Tf you look deeply into the Jell-O™, you will see him. But by then it will be much too late.” — Neuronics 7:45The chapter presents J.R. "Bob" Dobbs as a mystical, infinite fractal figure embodying both spiritual and conspiratorial significance, whose presence generates a quantum field of luck and spiritual 'Slack' that influences reality and his followers. It explores the paradoxical worship of Bob, emphasizing self-liberation and the rejection of conventional intelligence, while revealing Bob's role as a cosmic intermediary who brokers human souls mixed with his unique essence to predatory Elder Gods. The narrative culminates in the impending X-Day, a critical event determining humanity's fate in a cosmic psychic economy driven by soul farming and exploitation.
CHAPTER 5 MAN AND THE SUBGENIUS THE NATURAL INFERIORITY ) OF THE PINK EE ~~ a ~~ ~ ea) “There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say, “There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and the other kind,” and those who don’t say. Well, and then there’s me.” — “Bob” during his mail fraud trial, 1978 “If you have a Pipe I will give you one; if you do not, I will take it away from you.” — “Bob” as Rasputin in BobCo’s The Evillest Monk, 1959 “The only reason ANY SubGenius is still alive is that ALL Pinks are such cringing, craven gutless wonders.” — Pope Sternodox Keckhaver “Forgive them first... and then kill them.” — Dobbs, 1954, radio broadcast on capital punishment, WEMU, East Orange, New Jersey THE DIFFERENCE... That’s what we are, and that’s what we make. SUBGENII ARE “DIFFERENT” ina way that makes sex, creed, mental health, taste and color inconsequential. We’ve heard all the derogatory terms: “Bobbies,” “Dobbsies,” “PipeFaces,” “SubMorons,” “Sub-Humans,” “Sub-Penises,” etc. etc... Such insults usually stem from dunderheaded misreadings of the word SubGenius as meaning either “superintelligent” or “stupid.” Actually, the word encompasses almost any I.Q. level. We’re not saying we’re SMARTER than Normals. We’re saying we’re better. Only Pinks measure intelligence (and they generally use income as the yardstick). The SubGenius form of “intelligence” would be cali- brated in units of intangibles. We can’t stress this enough: it’s not that Normals are unintelligent, it’s that they’re HALF-THERE. The problem is not a lack of intelli- gence, but nonuse of it. It’s like they’re in a dream, “CHARACTERS” in somebody else’s CARTOON WORLD. Things that we recognize as mere convenient mental CONSTRUCTS are TOTALLY REAL to the poor humans. \ VA We see the bars of a cage they don’t rw v even know they’re in, but to them fF we look crazy because our re- sponses to that cage — including what we’re saying now — CAN- NOT MAKE SENSE TO THEM, and NEVER WILL. MAVRIDES 47The chapter delineates the fundamental distinction between SubGeniuses and Normals ('Pinks'), emphasizing that SubGeniuses possess a unique form of intelligence based on intangibles and perspective rather than conventional measures. It critiques the mental captivity and conformity of Pinks, contrasting this with the SubGenius embrace of slack, failure, and a strategic approach to societal survival through camouflage and detachment. The text further categorizes SubGeniuses by behavioral types and explores their complex social dynamics, spiritual fluidity, and evolutionary role as an accidental elite destined to transcend normal human limitations.
CHAPTER 13 VICTORY THROUGH HATE ““When everyone's egos have become as gods,… (pages 176–180)The chapter presents hate as a vital liberating force necessary to resist the pervasive Conspiracy that enforces conformity and economic control. It advocates embracing 'Slack' and radical nonconformity, including dropping out of societal expectations and engaging in disruptive behaviors, to preserve individuality and spiritual survival within the SubGenius minority. The inevitability of the apocalyptic X-Day and the importance of maintaining a rebellious, unpredictable stance underscore the ongoing collective struggle against oppression.